Is also required to have psychological comforts people skills, according to the other's mental activity, the most intimate of the console.
To listen to each other's distress
As a result of life experiences, family background, their education and other, forming a distressing for everyone to different interpretations. Therefore, when trying to comfort a person, the first to understand his distress.
Comfort people, listen than said important. The heart of a frustrated need is a gentle ear to listen, instead of logical sensitivity, a neat and tidy Head. Is to listen with our ears and hearts to listen to each other's voices, do not ask what the causes and effects, do not rush to judge, to give each other space, so that he could freely express their feelings.
When listening to Sympathetic Visage, the other can be observed that the volatility of our hearts. If we can hit on his "feelings of his sadness, feelings of his well-being", for those who were injured, this is to give his best to help.
To accept each other's world
The biggest obstacle to comfort people, to comfort those who often can not understand, understand, agree with the view that the distress client. It is easy to the definition of distress in the self is able to understand the limitations of the scope, once more than the extent that the "bitterness" was no justification for the. As the others talked about the "bitter" did not, therefore, easy to comfort those who listen to the process of resistance, can not wait to put forward their own views. Therefore, to comfort those who need to give up their deep-rooted concepts, to recognize their own prejudices, and truly stand on the other side's point of view the problems faced by him.
Psychological experts say "put aside his own world, to accept other people's world", is the reason. From the best consolation is to put aside their own, into each other's inner world, with his vision look at his encounter, and not improper to judge
Need to explore through the other side of the road
Are often a sense of comfort to the other party is under an obligation to put forward their own solution. As everyone knows, everyone was suffering the anguish of the people, before in the search for consolation, almost have had a series of ongoing attempts to explore the experience of constant failure. Therefore, we have to do is to explore the other side of the road through the understanding of their experience of struggle, so he was listening, be understood, recognized, and told he had already done enough, good enough, and this is a kind of consolation .
Comforter psychologist reminded of an important concept: "is not the same as in the treatment of comfort. The treatment is to make a change, cut off by changes in distress; and comfort is sure hard not to try to make the attempt to break their distress." In fact, in the process of comforting people, provided that any solutions are likely to be defective or does not apply to the other side once again disappointed, so without interference, not to view, listen, understand and agree with their distress, it is comforting the maximum principle.
In addition, take a journey with each other is also a kind of consolation. The other side will be accompanied by you, feel safe, warm, and painful to talk, to tell of his resentment, remorse, regret, to say all the want to say, when he experienced after the storm, the heart gradually calmed down, calm face of his own experience, he will be accompanied by a sincere thank you also think it is on their own through the past.
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